NO MORE FANTASY, REALITY!

So this post took a few days of marinating in my mind for me to be able to write it.
I mean, I had to think of the perfect way to introduce this, but it failed me.
I DD IT!
For the first time ever, I hit a man (intentionally and for my pleasure) during a sexual act. And Jesus, it was absolutely- fucking-awe inspiring-fantastic. There are no words to describe the high I got from the brute force of it, as well as the high I got from hearing his response (positive!). I was always worried that I couldn't do it/break out of my shell, /hit someone, and make it seem sexy. I mean I worry that if I slap someone in the face I'll ruin their eardrum and for the rest of their life their balance will be off. But that never happened (yay!!)
So details:
I was away for the weekend, and all this talk with the boy (see previous posts) got me thinking and got me way hot and bothered. And I was wondering, yes I can talk about it (slightly) and yes, I want to do it but CAN I?
I was out, in a new town, surrounded with people who don't know me and I said, why not? This is the perfect time/place to try on my dominant training wheels. I met this guy at a club, absolutely adorable. Tall, built, that perfect combo of skater boy and urban player. I was drunk, so it came easy. I will go into details because I want to relive them again. We shall call him Tom.
So things were looking good, I really got along with him. We had great conversation (that I vaguely remember, see above inebriation comment) and I could tell he was into me so it was green light go! We went from show, to after party, to apparently “make out point”. I fucking kid you not, I made out like a 50s teenage movie star. Annette and me have been to Make Out Point. But it was cute in that “I’m drunk and am going to hit you so I’ll let you take me wherever since things might get hairy anyway” kinda way.
Up on a hill, overlooking the city sitting on a rock (or a precipice...it just sounds funnier) I got violent and FUCKING LOVED IT. There were of course make outs before there always has to be foreplay, and I wanted to see how he felt about the whole “take charge thing”. Because if we remember, even if its vanilla sex I’m having I will no longer allow myself to be put in situations where I feel uncomfortable/pressured into things/uncomfortable positions mind AND body. SO I did it! And it was exhilarating and great, now I can’t take full responsibility, I should be totally honest. I did apologize a few times; I mean, I didn’t know how to proceed. I kept saying sorry (goes back to my constant need for validation) but once I started hearing his moans, and could see that he enjoyed what I was doing I WENT TO TOWN. From now on, I can only date boys who have enough hair that I can get a nice good grip. I grabbed hair; I pulled, (awesome). I pulled him towards me, I pulled him away from me (I took a page out of DevastatingYet’s book with her love of Jos’ collar) I dragged that boy around by his hair. And when I wasn’t bending him to my will I was steadying his face so I could smack him (delicious, that sound!!!!) There was a point when (mind the graphic nature, small children look away) when he was fingering me (there is just no nice way to say that) while I was holding myself upright (yes, we were both standing) by pulling on his hair with his head facing up while I was biting his neck to hold on (I’m sure I left a mark). This is of course when he decided to just slightly mention that he had a condom. Sorry folks, I was on a precipice, not gonna happen, which is exactly what I told him. So he tried to get me down on my back, which of course did not lead to sex, but more face slapping, and me asking for him to beg for it (which he did). But there was no orgasm in his future (this one was about me testing my limits, in a bed, and comfy and in a house maybe… with twigs in my back and his shirt under my ass…. not so much). I don’t remember if I came (read: drunk) but I am super psyched I tried this. Now I know I can’t expect every boy to enjoy this that I drag/bring home from the club, but it’s a good place to start and good to know that maybe I don’t need to look to the RPG/DD playing nerds for a little bdsm luvin. Now can I turn some Abercrombie models? That’s who I want to hit and tie up… or maybe there is a part II of this story, Tom is moving away, but I am wiling and able for round II as long as he expects/can handle more of the same.

For what happened INSIDE tom’s car while I was playing on the precipice getting my sadistic rocks off check some of the other blogs I check, it won’t be hard, you don’t need to be Columbo.