I just want to see you smile

I’ve been purposefully silent recently on the goings on with “the boy” and me. I didn’t want to jinx anything, also I don’t know if there is anything to jinx. Like always its 3 steps fwd 27,000 steps back. I haven’t spoken to him in over a week, actually one week two days. I waffle between this is good for me to love him to I’m wasting my time and putting myself through heartache. But for some reason we work, although he has the ability to make me hurt (emotionally not physically). I get all needy and self-conscious when I don't hear from him regularly, and he never seems to have his shit together, oh and lives two time zones away. Well besides all those things.
But through him, I am figuring out a lot of things, especially what I am looking for in a long-term relationship. There was a line in “Las Vegas” from last week that really struck me, I know I can’t believe I’m quoting a TV show that stars Tom Selleck, but cut me some slack. This woman was talking about finding your mate. You just have to find the person whose greatest happiness is watching you be happy [so simple, but so difficult to find]. But this comes from a specific place, not in a "I want to defer all ideas, thoughts and feelings to you so you can control the outcome, its more like let’s meet in the middle and appreciate what we bring to the table, no matter how bizarre".
I am happy when you put up with my eccentricities and are interested in them, not necessarily because they are yours, but because it makes you happy that I am happy. I love animals, I love them like the abominable snowman in those Looney tunes cartoons. I must love them, and hold them and name them all George. I smother all things fluffy. It’s a warped childhood fantasy I’ve always had. You remember when [insert Disney princess here] sings her trademark song in some sort of [forest, ocean, jungle, etc] and [insert cute doe eyed animals] come up to her and accompany her? That has always been my dream. Yet since this is the real world and not an animated fairy tale, wild animals do not so readily come to me, so I have to hunt them down or purchase them from pet stores. Which I did recently, I caught a baby mole. Mind you, I was with my dog and he had zero predatory instinct and actually was looking at me like I was insane. But I called “the boy” at work, and even though he was busy, he let me yammer on about this little mole [that actually looked like cartoon moles!!!]
The mole, plus the conversation made my day. I hope he knows how much that meant to me.

Oh yea, and we also had some steamy late night phone sex, that was great too ;)