A little history lesson

I came across this juicy tidbit on Wikipedia (not the best source, but a great place to get some quick info)
“In his essay Coldness and Cruelty, (originally Présentation de Sacher-Masoch, 1967) Gilles Deleuze rejects the term 'sadomasochism' as artificial, especially in the context of the prototypical masochistic work, Sacher-Masoch's Venus In Furs. Deleuze instead argues that the tendency toward masochism is based on desire brought on from the delay of gratification. Taken to its extreme, an infinite delay, this is manifested as perpetual coldness. The masochist derives pleasure from, as Deleuze puts it, The Contract: the process by which he can control another individual and turn the individual into someone cold and callous. The Sadist, in contrast, derives pleasure from The Law: the unavoidable power that places one person below another. The sadist attempts to destroy the ego in an effort to unify the id and super-ego, in effect gratifying the most base desires the sadist can express while ignoring or completely suppressing the will of the ego, or of the conscience. Thus, Deleuze attempts to argue that Masochism and Sadism arise from such different impulses that the combination of the two terms is meaningless and misleading.”
Let me summarize according to Deleuze the masochist’s desire comes from delayed gratification and the contract, basically he is topping from below, turning the sadist into a big ole meanie. The sadist gets pleasure from the law, (how this is different from the contract…I do not know). There are boundaries and rules and the sadist enjoys engaging in behavior that silences their conscience and they get to act like a big meanie.
This is just plain silly in my opinion. Deleuze does not believe that the masochist and the sadist need each other since they rely on different impulses. I say I really don’t think so. The sadist enjoys walking that fine line of naughty behavior and enjoying your taking of that behavior. (Well I do) the masochist AND the sadist both like the delay in gratification. (The fucking…duh…it’s like tantric sex, just without all the weird sounding breathing and relationship to yoga). I really think this misses the boat. The sadist AND the masochist enjoy engaging in behavior that society sees as taboo. BOTH use societal cues and props to enact sexual play that engages in given power dynamics for mutual delayed gratification, titillation and a better orgasm.
While I do think he hits on a few points, rules and structure and contracts are appealing. I do love some planning; I am pretty anal. There is something to be said about a well thought out scene complete with props and steps and stages. It seems orderly yet is all dirty sexual messy, a nice dichotomy.
I think there are multiple reasons why individuals engage in sadist or masochistic sexual practices. Just read all the sex blogs out there and you can see this. There are multiple reasons and thoughts going through both participants heads. And one of them is the confusing idea that this fucked up shit might actually turn you on. And that in itself is an existential arm wrestle that gets me off.