E-mail Exchange between me and the New Boy

Me: re: open relationships. I am adamant about not really divulging details on past relationships. I don’t think they do any good except make people jealous. There were people in my past, nothing very serious. I dated etc. But I never really settled down. I held back feelings, I second- guessed myself and I got bored very quickly. If you were a challenge I probably kept up the chase longer, but in the end it wasn't worth it and I wouldn't stick around. I see good qualities in people and there is usually something I can relate to, so I try to figure people out. But I am not going to stick around and be in a relationship just because you like me. I have a friend who loves being in love so much that she constantly goes from crappy serious relationship to another crappy serious relationship. I hesitate to commit because I know that in the end, the reason I like you in the beginning is because its fun and feeling liked is good. But that’s not a reason to continue something, and I wont do that. I want adventure, I want someone to grow with I want to be constantly stimulated (get your mind out of the gutter, I mean life wise) and I just haven’t really settled because I find that hard to find in people and I think also I intimidate. I've been hurt because I try to mold people into the person I see they can become. I've tried to relationship the wrong people and the wrong people have tried to relationship me. This is why what we're doing is so utterly amazing to me. I am enamored and THRILLED with the level of sappy-ness, it makes me happy, and it goes both ways. BUT it's not just initial courtship that I think we are attracted to. I like who you are NOW, but I also see (a little bit, it hasn’t been THAT long that we've been together) where we can grow together as people. I have never really felt that, I might be wrong, who knows. But that's how I feel about you. We think similarly, freakishly so, sex aside we enjoy the same things, and these activities aren't things that wane when the sexual tension diminishes. So there you go, stop being jealous because there has been no one like you, ever.

NB (New Boy): Siiiiiigh... Flutter..... Siiigh, you just did something profound. You told me everything I wanted to know and more without answering the wrong question I posed.

Me: you know how much I want to bone you right now?

NB: Mmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!! NO. But I know how much I want to fuck you senseless and then do it all slow and romantical so's we don't feel too dirty :-))) TELL me how much!

Me: enough that I would be willing to engage in the most embarrassing form of mating, e-mail sex that’s how much, CYBER SEX. So creepy. That is how much I want to bone you right now, its absurd.

NB: I am crazy about you!

Me: I know it hasn't been a long time, and things are moving fast but I just wanted to let you know how much fun I'm having. I think we can have a good time exploring each other’s points on things both intellectually and most certainly in the bedroom. I want you to be able to let me take control, just experience the moment and the happiness that it gives me. I want you to push me, so I can push you harder, take it further, where we both get more of what we want and it only goes up. I am going to go to sleep on this note with thoughts of us fucking on my living room couch.

After a Storm, there is a rainbow.

In the past month I have gone through a lot. Thankfully I have been so busy that I really haven’t noticed or have had time to process. I threw myself into work, hobbies and sloughed off my stable. I guess it was my unconscious New Years resolution. I think I needed a serious break to start living my life, I was unconsciously closing myself off I think, or I just wasn’t ready to meet someone special.
I am thoroughly knee deep in serious “like” and it’s rising by the second, I might drown. ;) We’re taking it slow, so no dirty posts for a while (except fantasy and fiction) but I am totally blown away. Is this what it’s supposed to feel like?
He’s in music and I have been trying to get back into it again these days. I was a classical violinist as a child but burnt out after fourteen years of a scheduling that can only be described as grueling. I was being groomed for the biggies, but as a teenager I wanted to experience more than one thing and I rested on my laurels until I finally gave it up. But I am trying to get back and remember what I loved about music to begin with. I know I have said before I love electronic music. Love it. It moves my body and sometimes my soul, I know some people think it’s cheesy and full of losers and druggies but I discovered myself when I discovered house music. I was young, impressionable, sometimes on ecstasy and having a blast. As a musician who loves the power and intensity of symphonic classical music, how could I not fall in love with all the layers of electronic dance music? I could feel through music. Now I want to create that for myself, pull together from all my parts and create something that maybe other people would enjoy just as much. I am a huge fan of dirty, bass thumping on the floor humping nasty lyrics of raw house music, its tough, its fun, it makes me wish I could snarl like Billy idol. Then I like the long trancey progressive sound that’s uplifting, spiritual, and makes you involuntary raise your hands in the air. Sometimes its so good its “oh my fucking god I don’t know if I want to have sex, or cry or dance,” I just feel alive. I want to be able to create that, so I can have something that makes me feel like that. When I want to have those emotions, powerful and floaty, hard core and above it all, sweaty and spiritual, naughty angelic, I can put on something to either bring me back to that on a bad day, or when I am feeling great, make it feel better (if I create this, I will definitely share for all those who like boning to house music).
So back to the story, so he’s in music and he told me he is in the process of actually compiling a mix of all the songs that make him think of me, and by the sounds he usually plays and the person he is, its going to be so spot on.
“I’ll give you that when I’m playing out, you’ll know it’s for you and everyone else just gets to hear it”
Oh my god, where has this one been for so long.