Making love, when all you really want is a good fuck.

So that’s the predicament I’m in right now. All I want is a nice hard fuck but all I get is some sweet soft kisses and some dumb baby talk. I am having two slight problems with MJ these days. 1- he isn’t assertive enough when it comes to naked fun time, and that leads to 2- I am not turned on or excited because it seems formulaic and routine already. If I don’t initiate sex, he won’t. Or for some reason he thinks bedtime spooning is a good indicator of his desire and therefore I then need to make a move. So of course this leads to a conversation where I tell him that if he wants it, go for it. He then says that he thought I was tired (or something, I don’t remember the excuse) and that he didn’t want to push it but that he wanted to. I said, then go for it! Tell me what you want, and do it. I tell him he needs to become more assertive with his needs/wants.
What does this lead to; not what I wanted. It leads to him, yes, being more assertive, but it still was butterfly kisses going from my ankle to my crotch, yet again, did not really do it for me.
I think maybe he just isn’t comfortable doing this? But he has before and it worked, I was super excited and wanted to jump his bones. Now I just want to feign sleep and just quickly get a condom on him so I can get him off and get this over with. There was one time, at my urging, he told me all the places and positions he wanted to have sex with me. It was fun, it was dirty, and it was wonderful. But I have never heard him use the word pussy, fuck, dick or suck since then. All I get now is “oral pleasures” “smooches” and “snuggles”.
I don’t know how to tell him what’s wrong though. Either he doesn’t think something is wrong, or he does and he’s over compensating by being even more saccharine and sugary. Either way this has to stop before I totally lose all interest in him as a sexual being. But I find it hard to bring this subject up because it’s hard to articulate what I want, and it also seems a little negative and cruel. Because if this is just his personality, how do you tell someone you don’t like who they are? I just think maybe we’re not a good fit. I want him to be more assertive in the bedroom, not necessarily take control, but understand that when push comes to shove, if I want an orgasm, I need to be fucked. There is nothing nice or soft or sweet about it, its intense, its emotional and its great; but its not a euphemism for cartoon bunnies or dessert or some shit like that. This is not a fairy tale, this is fucking.
I don’t know how to tell him that saying something like “I want to give you oral pleasures” just doesn’t sound as good as something simpler like “I want to taste you” or just a simple let me grab you until my face is in your crotch. (I prefer the latter) I know its wrong, but I want my men masculine, even when they beg, I want them to use dirty words, because dirty words sound so much better. Like the title of this post, I am sick of long gentle kisses and soft murmurs, you are bigger than me do something crazy, throw me around, say you want to fuck me. Stop asking for kisses or making baby talk. This is not an after school special; this is a cinemax after hours red shoe diaries episode. FUCK ME!