I'm going to apologize for not posting in awhile. What do you post on a sex blog when you're not having kinky sex? or not even thinking about kinky sex?!?!
Right now I find myself collecting a stable full of strays. They are all very sweet and all have different qualitites, but apparently the most important one is that I have total control and they stroke (not something sexual) my ego. Which I kind of need right now after the loss of my oh so favorite sexual object and love of my life "the boy". It still hurts my heart, and I haven't really dealt with it, although the roomie was great about it. But I think it was for the best, he will never make the grand gesture I oh so desire (move to where I am) so its just a fantasy.
But with my new stable of factory rejects, or outlet quality irregulars I wonder, can I find what I'm looking for? I want a man, full on Y chromosome, intelligent, witty, smart, upwardly mobile (this could be anything, he just has to be working towards something) man who is MANLY and also wants to submit. I am not ready to look on line, since I am not looking for more weird sexual fuckbuddies, I am just looking for someone who can give me those giant puppy dog eyes and still look masculine doing it. That's what I like, the big ole man, submitting to lil ole me. It turns me on, I want to enjoy my smallness and femininity and control your big male self. No more wussy guys (sorry wussy guys) or overly dominant guys (sorry all you cavemen types).
are you out there?
As you can see I have both right now.
I have a guy who is so sexually agressive it borders on rape and makes me feel uncomfortable, he texts (not even calls, such a bad news bear) and wants me to come over at 10pm to hang out. Um, not going to happen.
And then I have a few who think I am awesome, but they are not agressive enough.
I miss my boy.
not to mention I saw his doppelganger last night, compelte with puppy dog eyes and lovely mouthed slightly opened innocence....sigh
I will post some cool new stuff on here soon, give me time to go through some growing pains.
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2 comments:
Wow.
One of the things I love most about BDSM is that it's never as straightforward as it seems. Your quest to find a submissive man might seem obvious enough ... but in reality, you're looking for a complete inversion/subversion of heteronormative gender paradigms.
To leave grad school jargon behind for a moment, I'm just saying that you want a "manly man" who is submissive, and then question whether this exists. In some ways, the answer is no, because you're creating a fantasy that's rather queer. But therein lies its power, both for you as a woman and for some sort of transformative political possibility. I really enjoyed reading and thinking about this post!
Well said.
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