Monday, October 8, 2007

A fantasy and a worry

SO I have this fantasy, and I thought I would share some of it and see what people thought. I don't know this whole new sex life where I talk openly about what actually turns me on still gives me the heeby jeebies, but If I’m going to talk about these things with the boy, then I am going to have to be comfortable with saying it.
It kind of reminds me when I was younger and used to make out. Weird slight side note and story but I totally remember when I was younger and boys would touch me you know "down there" (if I’m going to talk about when I was in high school and early college, I might as well get right back into the mindset) I used to always push their hand away when I was feeling good, when it was getting too much. It was also, they never took the time to work out my excitement on my time, and so they just went straight for the clit. But I also never let myself truly get into the experience and go with the orgasm, I always pushed their hand away and quickly closed my legs, don't ask me why I did this. This is probably why I am so good at head, good way to get them to forget about what’s between my legs, if I’m between theirs.
Ok back to the story, so I have this fantasy, but it only involves the boy I cant put someone else in this fantasy yet. I want to have a threesome, but not in a traditional sort of way I guess. I want another woman there but she's MY play toy, basically she follows my orders, does to him what I want, he can't touch her and he has to watch me the entire time and tell me how much he likes it and thank me for it, and every now and then, I would hit him and caress him too. Oh, and he would be totally handcuffed with those nice leather ones. She would do all the work until I was ready to fuck him, and I would just get to watch, he could ask for things he wanted, but I wouldn't work on his needs because I control her. And then when I was turned on, when I wanted him, I would politely ask her to leave and we would fuck like no other.
So besides the fact that I don't know if I can control him let along some strange non-existent fantasy woman, but... is this wrong? I’m demeaning another woman for my fetish play. I feel bad about wanting to do something like this, but I find it so hot. I also find it so awful that just saying it makes me feel really creepy and wonder 1- could I really go through with it and 2- should I? Besides being so not vanilla style sex- can I handle the emotion that this would bring up in me?
(Maybe I will save this for like a 10-year anniversary, I would hope by then I would have the stones to do this)

Ok, so am I weird? What happens when you're halfway through a scene and you can't do it, it starts to make you feel small instead of big and the squishiest form of vulnerability ever?

3 comments:

Woman Analyzer said...

I think your threesome fantasy sounds cool! It wouldn't be demeaning to the woman if she liked the idea and got to watch you go at it afterwards.

Anonymous said...

It's a very hot fantasy. In terms of actually doing it, you'd have to be doing it with a specific other woman and that would involve the usual negotiation, relationship, etc. Whether you could find someone you'd be comfortable doing it with is an open question, but I'm sure there are women who would be interested in that part of the scenario.

As far as this part:

What happens when you're halfway through a scene and you can't do it, it starts to make you feel small instead of big and the squishiest form of vulnerability ever?

This is where you hope your partner(s) can support you. I think this happens to everyone. It certainly has happened to me, and I've read it described by Bitchy Jones and Eileen as well. You cry and your boy holds you and tells you everything is OK. You're allowed to be human.

Bad Man said...

Not demeaning at all. You make your choices, you negotiate with all involved, and you have a safe word for each of you in case your halfway-through scenario comes to pass.

I can think of a few women who would get off on being controlled by another woman while getting with a man. Not outside the realm at all.